6 Foes -vs- 1 Hubbyman
Posted @ 3:47 p.m. on 2006-01-28

Yesterday I left all of you with a promise that I would share with the class about my little “wrestling match”.

With the stagnant smell of stale corn chips and rubbing alcohol hanging in the air, I stood in the middle of the room. The ground was slightly squishy under foot. I scanned the room searching for my adversaries to appear. I crouched down, poised at the ready incase of a surprise attack. Suddenly the door swung open and in they flew like flies to a pile of shit.

Wait…..those were flies.

I remained in my place, ears perked to the slightest sound. They silently rounded the corner. There were six of them. Mean, fierce looking, scrappy men of all sizes. Their eyes burned wildly. I was on their turf. They had ventured here before in battle and claimed it as a victory. They circled around me. Teeth gnashing, knuckles cracking, noses dragging deep amounts of the thick air that swirled around my head, and yet I remained calm.

Their leader made himself known to me. He claimed that it was my time. I attempted to show no anxiety while they chuckled in their demonic ways. The leader pointed to me and then to the man standing on his immediate right. This man was obviously the best of them. He was thick. His eyes narrowed as he peered down his nose at me. His chin jettisoned from below his clenched lips. He was ready for anything. The circle widened as the large man stepped forward and stood in front of me.

The rules were that we were to turn back to back and on the signal engage in hand to hand combat. I had thought about declining but it was too late. The beast had already turned to face away and it was all about to begin.

I turned, back to back with the man, and faced the leader. With an evil grin the leader gave the word. The brawl began. After a few seconds of sizing each other up, the man attacked. In a furry of hits and tosses I felt the ground beneath me and his full weight up on my back. It was then that it happened. Call it adrenaline, call it rage, call it what you will, it hit me with such a force that the large man didn’t have a chance. He ended up on his belly unconscious. He looked as if he were sleeping well.

Then the next came. He was a man of my build. Undoubtedly he was much quicker than the last. He attacked suddenly; I was almost caught off guard. This one ended up broke in half. I have no idea how, I just reacted and then there he was in two pieces.

At this time the leader had enough of my games. He was as thick as the first but a quick as the second. It was a grand battle. It was a clash of the titans if you will. We fought and fought until both of us were dizzy and exhausted. He backed away and stood in front of me, staring me straight through. There was a confused yet barbaric look to his face. He then assumed a fighting pose that I had never seen before. He was low, compact, and straining to hold that position. He attacked in the blink of an eye. I tasted the ground again. He jumped on top and tried to break my back. The pain shot through my body like the hot rush of lava.

Once again it happened. A primal rage boiled from inside. I saw nothing. I felt nothing. I lost control or thought I did. I stood to see my attacker coughing and wheezing. He was riling in pain, bleeding internally perhaps. I glared at the rest, daring them to approach and hoping they didn’t. I didn’t think I could take any more.

Two jumped at once. I flew back to get my bearing. It was all I could do to stand let alone fight two men. Successful at destroying their leader wasn’t enough to deter these maniacs. They, however, were the weakest of the group. A quick job was made of them and they joined the pile of bodies. The sixth and final man stood opposed to me staring me down. I’m sure I was swaying back and forth. He looked to be two men but I knew he was only one. I tried to focus. It was difficult to pick out his features even though he stood no more that three feet from me. He slowly extended something to me. I was surprised when I grabbed the flesh of a hand.

“Good job Hubbyman…alright guys, that’s it for PT today.”