Chestnuts and stuff
Posted @ 7:37 p.m. on 2005-12-25
I would like to first address a new bud of mine. Smash, author of the funniest diary that I know, I would like to extend a warm Holliday greating and offer him to have a stout for me. I don't drink much, but when I do I do it the right way. If you ask my Wifey, thats how I do everything (even when I screw up). Smash, I hope you rocked like you never rocked before.
On to the meat and potatoes. This morning at about dark ass o'clock (why is time Irish anyway). My tot awoke to the tune of thunder. I brought her into bed and after about 5 or so minutes.....I made a trumpet of my ass. It was little more than wind over a turd and it smelled the equal. Not many mature people find farts funny. The wife and tot caught the giggles and that is what started the day. Great...we woke to my ass playing reveille. (Reveille is the tune used to signal wakey wakey time in the military). The Wifey asked the tot if she knew what today was. The tot answered that today was Christmas Day. I grunted and farted again. I get gassy in the morning. After a few minutes of beating eachother over the head with socks and giggling at poo gas we got up and prepared for the unwrapping. We woke baby and began.
----Fast Forward sounds-------
Finally got done about 8 o'clock and started cleaning up. Trash pick up isn't until Friday and the can is filled to the brim. I see lots and lots of wrapping paper scattered about the yard come week's end. Baby took a nap and tot went to playing. Tot and Wifey took a nap and baby woke. I grumbled and stumbled into baby. Baby played....tot woke....wifey woke...I, still awake, started getting ready for dinner. I showered (used my Batman loofa sponge,I'm a bit of a Batman freak), got all gussied up and we all went to a buffet. No cooking, cleaning, leftovers. Good stuff. Did I mention that I cut my thumb trying to fix one of tot's swings on her brand new swing set. Wifey saved my life by bringing my handy dandy...Batman bandaid. I still have it on. Oh Batman bandaid....I love you...I'll never take you off. Like I said, I'm a freak. Wifey is getting in the mood so I'll stop here. Hope everyone had a great Christmahanukwanzika.
Smash..these are for you (.)(.)
Gotta love the boobies!